Amid bubbling thoughts that sparked monstrous doubts with the click-clack of the keys on my laptop, as I wrote, I let out a loud: "What is personal branding if not a self-assertion…?! Tired of defining my image online… tired of overthinking how to present myself, maybe I need to rest and find myself." Immediately, drenched in sweat between my fingers, I closed the laptop screen. Restless sighs interspersed with: "I need to compose myself and understand more who I am, not what I do or don’t do, but who I am, in essence." There you go. Here’s a daydream I recommend you ponder when you’re well-rested from the infamous grind of adult life.
"Who am I?" Knowing this will bring me comfort, right?! Of course! What a thought! Perhaps it will provide more confident direction… about my purpose in this life. And with this privileged information, I’ll then have a solid foundation to formulate an appropriate personal branding for this… human who writes to you… me. I need to reflect on the self. I get lost in the selves. The Professional Self, the Friend Self (there in the bar conversation with friends), the Family Self… I’m aware of the layers that lead us to social performance with their social personas so that we can be accepted in different environments with their imaginary labels… but does this suffocate me? Sometimes no, sometimes yes.
Dramatic pause — as if I were in a symphony orchestra called life and it abruptly froze — I want to learn to find myself: what is my true vocation? my purpose? If I came to this grand, vivid earthly theater, what is my great role? At this point, I’m content to be just the good Samaritan who talks with Christ and leaves happily with her water — I mention this example because I recently watched a documentary featuring Fernanda Montenegro, and she talks about her humble role as the good Samaritan in the independent film The Life of Christ; I appreciate how she articulates her words so well and exudes richness in her thoughts.
After writing so much disconnected text, I was slyly caught by a biting laziness and didn’t check for all the grammatical and semantic errors… I closed the laptop screen as mentioned in the first paragraph, and this miserable text you are reading is left unedited and fragmented due to exhaustion and fatigue.
Just being happy to vent without the meticulousness of preparing the reflection as something serious and concise. Just tired of thinking about personal branding as if my life depended on it — it doesn’t, I think. But who am I… that’s still under construction.
Obs.: In summary, the final text — after uneven and poorly made edits — represents well the common doubt of those who work in image creation and occasionally feel the exhaustion of needing to define and reinvent themselves.
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